Helloooooo noisebridge! It is I, a ghouly ghost! When I was “alive”, a million Unix Epochs ago, I used to obsess about the member binders, for instance, guarding them against random buddhist monks in a sort of reverse Shaolin battle.
I have been untimely drawn back from my grave because somebody has disrepespected (ie maybe lost in the move?) our current membership binder. This leads to hauntings, unexcellentitude, and being technically out of compliance with the state’s (boooo!) foolish provisions regarding our ethereal corporate form.
It also means we’re not sure about who is a member and who isn’t right now.
To be clear: this isn’t a huge problem, because the one thing I remember from my earthly existence is that there is NO DIFFERENCE between being an Noisebridge member and being a normcore Noisebridge human, modulo the ability to block a meeting consensus. Even if all of Noisebridge members were as dead and forgotten as me, it would not matter! Though Noisebridge might crash the state’s (booo!) bureaucracy if we handed them a null membership list, it would be ok for Noisebridge’s ability to function (and maybe crashing it would be the first step to replacing the state with our glorious doacratic utopia, who knows?).
Anyway! This message is not about finding members or the binder. As we speak, we are digging through the rubble to find the binder. As a backup, expert doxxers are dredging the old Noisebridge meeting notes and reconstructing a skeletal membership directory. When we have this, we will hire a union-approved Necromancer from the nearest left-handed magickal co-op, and use these clues to clumsily re-animate a zombie army of undead members. We will also probably have a mad new member orgy whereby we will consense a bunch of excellent hackers who have been helping out with the latest re-boot, but who have never met a real member before (let alone a zombie undead pack of them).
No, this message is a call for comments about the new binder.
The old binder was deliberately analog – this is so if someone wanted to grab a list of noisebridge members to mistreat or spam, they’d have to come to the space, and physically check it out themselves (this is also what the law minimally requires to prevent 501(c)3 secret societies).
I propose that the new binder will maintain this analogitude. EXCEPT, I also propose that we record for each member in the binder, the public key of an ED25519 keypair. This can be a keypair that the protomember provides, or we can help them generate one using ritual animal sacrifice and dice.
What will we do with this key? Nothing! Because my brains have long rotted away, I have no use for it! BUT it will allow members to potentially identify themselves in the future, do weird-ass crypto shit like have an default Secure Scuttlebutt, ethereum/Bitcoin address, quickly be able to get ssh accounts on an official noisebridge Raspberry Potato, etc. It will also add a cool cypherpunk vibe to the new membership induction ritual.
I have carefully audited this cryptosystem by asking about it on Twitter, and the consensus response from professional cryptoanalysts has been “meh, seems ok” with only ciphergoth saying “JESUS CHRIST THIS IS TERRIBLE IDEA WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT I BLOCK”.
I figure this is an almost perfect match to Noisebridge’s primary threat model (which is “an unknown attacker chooses to target us, but in a really boring way which we’d be embarrassed to have to tell anyone about.”)
In the ten minutes before I go ahead with this plan, I would like to hear (and subsequently disregard) your opinions! Your ideas with what we might do with such a keypair! Your horror that we are rolling our own crypto!
Yours seeding the path to an inevitable noisebridgecoin,
PS Love what you’ve done with the place.